Making The World Great Again (A Tongue in Cheek Plan For American Imperialism) -Action Economics

America saw an overall expansion of territory as the normal course of business for its entire history from 1776 up until the end of World War 2. During World War 2 we acquired several strategic island chains, but since then the acquisitions have stopped. Now when the President talks of expansion he is met with steep opposition. Surely these same people don’t think we should give back Florida or Ohio? Most of the time I talk about boring math stuff, let’s have some fun with this. Here’s a tongue in cheek view of what we could do in the next three years to expand America.

Historical US Land Expansion:

1776: Annexation of the 13 colonies from Britain
1795: Ohio: Ohio and parts of other states ceded to the US following the Northwest Indian War Treaty of Greenville
1803: The Louisiana Purchase 828,000 square miles for $15 million
1819:The Florida Purchase: 72,000 square miles for $5 million
1846: Oregon: The Oregon Treaty with Britain dividing the territory at the 49th parallel
1848: The Texas Independence and annexation (Treaty of Guadalupe Hildalgo) 500,000 square miles for $18.25 million
1854: The Gadsden Purchase: 29,000 square miles for $10 million
1856: The Guano Islands: Baker, Howland, Jarvis, and Johnston Atoll claimed under Guano Act. Approx 4 square miles.
1867: The Purchase of Alaska: 586,000 square miles for $7.2 million
1867: Midway islands, unoccupied 2 square miles
1898: The Annexation of Hawaii: Overthrow of the monarchy and annexed by the US.
1898: The Philippines: 115,000 square miles for $20 million. Additional deals with Spain for Puerto Rico and Guam.
1903: The Lease of Guantanamo Bay: 45 square miles for $4,085 per year
1903: Panama Canal Zone: 553 square miles for $10 million plus $250,000 a year
1917: Danish Virgin Islands: 136 square miles for $25 million
1947: Annexation of Mariana Islands, Caroline Islands, and Marshall Islands following WW2.

Why have we rejected land expansion for the last 75 years, especially while specific areas have gained in strategic necessity? Why is this while we have effectively been the only super power for the last 35 years? We spend more on defense than the next 10 countries combined and greatly subsidize other countries defenses. We provide for the entire defense of Western Europe, Japan, South Korea, Canada, and Mexico. What is really interesting is that we stopped acquiring land AFTER we became a super power. The US was not even remotely regarded as a world power until after World War 1.

To provide for this defense we must have control over strategic land, water, and other resources that we currently do not have.

Greenland:

President Trump has long declared that he would like for Greenland to become part of the US. Here’s how to make that happen.

Greenland’s situation: Greenland has a population of just over 55,000 people, about the population of Elkhart, Indiana. Greenland is “owned” by Denmark. Denmark has a population of around 6 million people, about the population of Wisconsin, our 20th most populous state. Denmark has enjoyed the protection of the United States since the end of World War 2. Denmark hasn’t spend 2% of its GDP on defense since 1990 and currently spends around 1.5%, at $10 billion, contrasted with the US spending $1 Trillion a year and 3.5% of GDP. We have spent more this year on defense than Denmark has in total since World War 2. The $10 Billion is also after a spike in 2023. In 2022 they spent just $5.5 Billion.

Denmark has made it a point to say that Greenland is not for sale and to rebuke any discussion of it.

Let me be clear: Denmark only exists because we allow it to. Denmark ceased to be a country in 1940 when German tanks rolled across its fields. The battle lasted for just 6 hours. American and British blood freed Denmark after D Day. Since The fall of the Third Reich and the establishment of NATO, The US has greatly subsidized the defense of Western Europe. An island 50X bigger than its country, 2,200 miles away that is sparsely populated and primarily useful for hemisphere defense, should likely be in control of the country actually defending it.

Greenland has the “right” both granted by Denmark and by God to self determination. Here’s what I would do as president of the US:

Ask for Greenland to vote on a resolution to remove ties to Denmark and join the United States. In exchange, all citizens of Greenland would be granted US citizenship and all rights thereof, as well as a $50,000 one time payment every citizen of Greenland. This would be just under $3 Billion. In additional we would give every resident of Greenland a $5,000 yearly Freedom stipend for the next 10 years. This would cost another $3 Billion.

In Greenland 50% voter turnout is about average and there are 42,000 registered voters, meaning in order to win the US would need around 10,501 votes. In this scenario Denmark gets nothing and the people of Greenland and the US Win.

Option 2:

Claim Greenland as an American Territory. Land 10,000 troops on Greenland soil and say it belongs to America. What’s Denmark gonna do?

Option 3:

Claim Greenland…and Denmark as ours. Land 10,000 troops on Greenland and park an Aircraft carrier right off the coast of Denmark. Fly F35s over their airspace to show dominance and then land 100,000 men on Denmark soil and state that the country is now a territory of the US. Build a major navy base on the shores of Denmark to counter Kaliningrad.

We also need to ditch the name Greenland it isn’t very green. Let’s replace it with something fun, like Trumplandia.

The people who say taking Greenland or forcing its sale will be the end of NATO…Don’t tempt me with a good time. NATO stopped being relevant with the fall of the USSR in 1991. Russia is not the USSR. It also isn’t real when virtually all of NATO is a bunch of freeloaders who do not contribute 2.5% of GDP to defense and on a total dollars basis are mostly irrelevant. The NATO military is the US military.

Panama:

There are two primary bottle necks for global trade, the Panama canal and the Suez canal. The Panama canal keeps ships from having to sail around the continent of South America and the Suez canal keeps ships from having to sail around the continent of Africa.

Fun fact, the US created Panama to build our canal after the French failed. The Columbians didn’t want to play ball so we had a group declare independence and we recognized them as a country. We then spent 5,600 lives and the equivalent of around $5 billion building the canal. Democrat President Jimmy Carter ended our permanent lease and agreed to surrender the canal to the Panamanians in 1999 in the 1977 Torrijos-Carter Treaty. Bill Clinton handed the canal over in 1999.

This was a terrible deal and once again, the strategic importance of this canal to global trade and to the United States needs to be in control of the Super Power, which is the US.

Option 1: Tell Panama they get to remain a country if they hand over the canal and we will give them a 1 time payment of $17 billion, the equivalent of half their annual budget.

Option 2: We wake up tomorrow and there is no more government of Panama. We destroy their entire “military” before sun up, and land 10,000 Americans in the canal zone.

Either way we secure and establish the US Canal Zone and returning the canal to American possession.

Cuba:

Cuba can’t exist without Venezuelan Oil…I mean America’s oil. The Communist regime will collapse any day. We should have never allowed a communist Cuba to exist, just 90 miles off the coast of America. We will land a strike force to capture the “President” and fly F35s over Cuba. We announce it is now a territory of the US and temporarily put Marco Rubio in charge until elections can be held for Governor of Cuba. Cuba becomes the resort destination it was prior to the communist takeover.

Western and Northern Canada:

Canada has some great resources and great freedom loving people. It also has a ton of Socialists, who thankfully are largely located in 5 cities. We don’t want Canada to be the 51st state, they would then get 2 Senators, not gonna have that. Instead, Canada will be strategically split into existing states.

Canada isn’t a real country. They 100% only exist because of the implied defense of America. We have the world’s largest undefended border with them and they are intent to keep allowing the 3rd world into Canada. They revoked the right to self defense in Canada and their economy is failing under Liberal policies. We will liberate the people of Canada. Just like Denmark, Canada has no actual military. This will be a peaceful acquisition. All Canadian citizens will receive US citizenship and full benefits thereof.

Step 1: Northern Canada becomes part of Alaska: The Yukon, Northwest Territories, and Nunavut all join Alaska. This is around 120,000 people.

Step 2: British Columbia becomes part of Washington State.

Step 3: The states of Montana, North Dakota, and Minnesota all extend up to the border with Alaska.

Step 4: Michigan Absorbs North, Ohio absorbs to the New York border and cuts out Toronto.

Step 5: New York Absorbs the larger Canadian cities, getting Ottawa, Toronto, and Quebec City.

Step 6: Maine gets all of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and everything North/East of Quebec city.

This coupled with Greenland will give us the entire northern part of the Western Hemisphere.

What About Our Enemies?

Now that we have secured our Hemisphere, we need to discuss our enemies. Time to show the world what 11 air craft carriers and 38 Trillion in debt buys you.

On the exact same day, at the exact same time, DJT launches the following attacks:

Iran: In 2019 we declared The Revolutionary Guard a Terrorist Organization. We destroy their entire ability to make war and nuclear weapons. The entire air force and navy is destroyed. The Ayatollah is dead. We develop the American Freedom zone along the straight of Hormuz stretching 25 miles out from the coast.

North Korea: The entire North Korean war machine is destroyed. Kim Jung Un is dead. We destroy their nuclear weapon sites. For symbolism we bomb the statues of Kim Jong Il and Un at the Mansudae Grand Monument.

Yemen: The Houthies have attempted to damage our boats off the coast of Yemen. Destroying their entire ability to make war is also needed. We will make a similar US Freedom zone covering 25 miles along the coast of Yemen along the Bab al-Mandab strait. We will also take the Hanish Islands.

What Else?

Svalbard: To expand our arctic footprint we need to buy Svalbard from Norway. It’s a small arctic island with a population of 3,000 people. Even $100 million would be a fair price to the Norwegians. Or we can land a thousand troops and call it ours if they reject payment.

The Suez Canal: Egypt “nationalized” the canal that was built and operated by the French and English in 1956. The Suez canal is a major trade passageway that keeps Europe and Asia from having to sail around Africa. Such an important piece of infrastructure to global trade should not be controlled by Egypt. The US Annexes the canal zone and the Sinai Peninsula. This gives the US full control of the canal with only 1 border with Egypt.

We offer them a peaceful takeover, give them $25 Billion (1 year of the Egyptian national budget) and a 25% revenue share from our ongoing operations of the canal.

Falkland Islands: Argentina and Britain fought a war over these in the 1980s before Britain fell to the far left. We tell the Brits to go kick rocks and plant our flag on the Falklands. We don’t strategically need them, we will give them as a gift to the real country that should have it, Argentina.

Antarctica: It’s all ours. What are they gonna do? We land a few hundred troops, establish a base, and claim it as ours. The following countries have claims to Antarctica currently: The UK, Norway, Australia, France, New Zealand, Chile, and Argentina. None of them have a real army, certainly not one that can defend land so far away. Argentina will be happy we just gave them the Falklands. Norway has no business being in Antarctica, The UK and France should be thrilled we secured the Suez Canal. This also includes the Antarctic islands like the South Orkney Islands, South Shetland Islands, and the Kerguelen Islands. We give no payment for Antarctica.

Eastern Russia: We want to create a larger buffer between Alaska and the Russians, and Vlad could really use some cash right about now. We buy the Chukotka and Kamchatka. This creates a roughly 500 mile long border from the East Siberian sea to the sea of Okhotsk.

Chukotka: Directly across from Alaska and covering 278,000 square miles, this state has a population of just under 50,000 people.

Kamchatka: Directly south of Chukotka covering 179,000 square miles with a population of 291,000.

The moon and Mars: In 2028 SpaceX will land Starship on Mars, at which point we will claim all of Mars for the US. The US exits the 1967 Space Treaty, and declares that all celestial bodies the US lands on it will claim ownership of.

What do you think of these expansions? What more could/should we do?